Hey "Nice Guys"

Written in love for the boys/men "finishing last", living in the "friend-zone", getting told "I love you" exclusively as a friend, getting walked all over, et cetera...here is your explanation from the female psyche 

1. "Girls always say that they want a nice guy, but then they go for the jerk"
• We like the idea of a bad boy (Danny from "Grease", Edward Cullin from "Twilight", Patrick from "10 Things I Hate about You", Landon from "A Walk to Remember", Will from "Good Will Hunting", etc.) because they're strong (or, at least, they appear to be). We love to entertain the thought that if we were the object of Batman's affections, he would do some serious Batman damage to the person who threatened to harm us. Jerks tend to possess the characteristics essential to survival: strength, perseverance, and protective instincts with a "take no prisoners" attitude.  We yearn to be protected and kept safe. We want to be cherished, to feel like something pricelessly precious. Would you lay a hand on Wolverine's woman? I highly doubt it.
• Jerks appear to be super confident (even though often the opposite is true). Confidence is attractive in both men and women, it's what lures the "mates" in. Jerks are strong-willed. Sometimes they're quietly confident without needing to say much while other times they can't seem to keep their mouths shut. They tend to know how to lead a group...in fact, it usually comes naturally and without effort. So when the guy everyone knows chooses to focus his attention on us, we're borderline starstruck.
• As women, we are typically the nurturers. In most cases, we are viewed as the more sensitive, emotional, and caring of the two genders. For reasons of which I myself am unsure, we love to fix. Alongside being protected and cherished, we relish the opportunity to take a bad boy as our next project. Look at mainstream music. Taylor Swift talks about it in a ton of her songs (Dear John, Red, I Knew You Were Trouble, Haunted, etc.), Carrie Underwood warns girls about these bad boys in Cowboy Casanova and Good Girl, Lady Gaga wants a bad boy in Edge of Glory and sings about the devastation left behind by them in Speechless, Judas, and Monster. The list goes on and you don't need to look very far. Though it doesn't make much sense, we crave it; and as a result, we often knowingly enter into dangerous territory for the thrill of it.
• As much as loving "the chase" is typically attributed to men, it is true for women as well. While most of us eventually want marriage, family life, and so on, if there's no chase then it gets boring...fast. Even within the boundaries of an exclusive relationship with a bad boy the girl still has to chase him. It's the perfect balance of knowing we're desired (because he chose us) with never fully understanding his mystic that originally and continually draws us in. As much as we'll deny it, we like the game. We like the thrill of not knowing for sure and we like investigating to figure it out. Bad boys are dark and mysterious. We love the process of getting to who you really are because when we get there, it will be like "our little secret"—something special that only we have.
2. The Friend Zone
• Every guy knows and fears it. But guys, some of you cannonball right into the deepest part of it. I was talking to my high school Spanish teacher the other day and he said (on the friend zone) "they chop their own feet off! How are you supposed to run a race with no feet?!" Bingo. Couldn't have said it better myself. You may think that you're establishing trust that is necessary for relationships by being there for a girl when she's having boy problems, but you're just taking a chainsaw to your ankles. I know what you're thinking: "this is so great, she's so hot and awesome. We hang out all the time and we can talk about anything and I think she really trusts me!" Congrats, sir, you have been sentenced to the friend zone. Most likely for a very long time, if not forever.
• Subjects girls talk about with friend-zoned victims: dating other guys, shaving their legs, a certain monthly visitor, clothes (and clothes advice), their wedding pinterest boards, shopping, or any chick movie, book, or TV show (Nicholas Sparks, How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, Twilight, Say Yes to the Dress, ANTM, etc.). We discuss things we have in common with people...that's how friendships are formed. So if sweet Sarah is talking about how much she hates shaving her legs and asks which jeans look better with the new sweater she just got for half off, you can deny it all you want, but you've just become the "gay best friend". 
• If I had to guess, I'd say that most guys finding themselves in the friend zone are there because they are giving way too much of their attention to the girl that they so desire. Like I said before, girls love the chase. Getting friend-zoned requires you to spend a lot of time with the friend-zoner. If you make it clear that you're super available and clingy, she'll either toss you in the friend zone or toss you out entirely because it's just too much.
3. "Nice guys finish last"
• This is the male equivalent to the female "it's just that guys are intimidated by me". Um, no, they aren't intimidated by you--you smell like old cheese and fart whenever you laugh. "Nice guys finish last"...really? It's a cop-out. Blame the entire female population for the rejection that you've received (that was most likely completely fair) because you aren't man enough to accept it. 
• I would love if a "nice guy" could explain what "nice" entails. I say people are "nice" when I don't like them and I don't want to be rude. If "nice" is your identifier, then if there is ever a point when you are in the lead, I will find you and trip you because you deserve to finish dead last. No one remembers the "nice" people. You agree with everything, allow yourself to be walked all over, never stand up for yourself or state your opinion, and then complain about how you finish last. You know why "compassionate" guys don't finish last? "Funny"? "Respectful?" "Honest"? Probably because they're running. You "nice" guys quit before the gun is even fired.
• Which brings up the complaining issue. You wave at a girl who doesn't see you and therefore doesn't wave back and you're off sulking because "nice guys finish last". That's obviously a bit of a hyperbole, but just because you and Suzy weren't compatible and she called it off before you knew what was wrong doesn't mean you're "finishing last". Why are women determining the rate at which you're running, anyway? I'm sorry that I don't want to text you every second of the day about what I'm doing and feeling, but you did this to yourself. Don't even act like I'm the bad guy because I'm busy and consider texting to be the lowest possible form of communication. Or maybe when we talk, we're never actually talking about anything and it's awkward. You aren't losing the race because the two things you can't live without are Nickelback's Greatest Hits and George Lopez Complete Stand-up Comedy Collection on DVD. We don't have anything in common. That's all it is. Funny thing about common interests...you gotta have em. 

While women are complicated on levels that even I (as a woman) cannot understand, this is not too complex. But, then again, it could be a mystery of the female mind that I can access solely because of my gender. Essentially what I'm saying is if you're doing what you're most passionate about, things will fall into place and you won't have to force a relationship or feelings out of a girl you're interested in. I'm not excusing the things that we do, either. I'm just explaining why it happens so guys can see it practically as opposed to this great, ominous wonder that no one will ever have the ability to comprehend. Obviously, hearing about how nice guys get the short end of the stick is one of my pet peeves, so I wanted to break it down and possibly provide some clarity. 

Thanks for dropping in!