The post without a title

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why...I delight in weaknesses...for when I am weak, then I am strong. 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

The weaker I am, the stronger Jesus is in me. I have tried & failed to get by in the insufficiency of my own "strength". Every time I try & fail, I land in His mighty hands--bruised, crying, & gasping for breath. He holds me, tends to my wounds, & invites me to rest as he removes my brittle man-made weapons & armor. I lie there--humbled, exhausted, & vulnerable. But I trust Him, & I choose to do so because, honestly, it is the only choice I have. As I drift into a peaceful sleep, He holds me in a grip that is impossibly firm & gentle, kind & strong. He protects me from all of my attackers & He fights my battles for me. Until I am entirely weak & broken, there is no victory...I know no rest, no love, no peace, no truth. 

The answer to all of the relentless questions, insecurities, & uncertainties that nearly drown me is Jesus. I don't have a theological argument or analysis. From my hurting the answer is to simply whisper the name of Jesus & watch as the God of everything that is, was, & ever will be captures me, wholly & completely. He takes over my heart & instantly His ferocious love is surging through my veins. It's as though every cell in my body halts to exalt & glorify this Creator who set me free.

I'm finished fighting. I'm done trying to find other answers & remedies. I surrender what little I have left to you, Jesus, my Jesus.